Finally a morning that did not start off bad. There was no rain :) However I did hear my daughter starting to get an attitude with her great gramma so I went to go and stop it before it got worse. It was over breakfast. My daughter wanted a homemade egg mcmuffin and her great gramma did not want to make it. So I made it. My daughter however was already upset by this point and said she would not eat it because I did not make it with love. Well, after having a breakdown and bit of alone time, she did eat it reheated.
I tried a blended protein shake...nope...not having that one again. It was from a company called Lean and was a banana creme smoothie. Not so good...
I started a puzzle, and had almost finished the border when my honey came. About this time it was around 1230pm so I decided I needed to make lunch for myself before we started to plan anything. I took a small morning glory chicken slider (fake mean) and cut it up tiny with scrambled egg, a finely diced cherry tomato, salt and pepper and a dash of salsa to add flavor. DELICIOUS! It also went down nicely and stayed down:) Loved it!
We decided to get out of the house and take my daughter to our local aquarium. It was much better this time around. The first time was opening weekend and it was horrible. We have season passes so we can go whenever and this time was so much better. We all had a blast.
Well after that the two of them were hungry. I of course was fighting head hunger but that is ok, I need to learn to deal with that. So we went to IHOP. Yet another place of wondrous smells. That's ok though. They got their food and I got a decaf coffee. OH IT WAS GOOD. And filling so I did not feel like I was being left out with the eating thing.
SUCH a great day so far.
We got home and the man and I went upstairs to take a nap while my daughter went to go watch some TV.
This is where the trouble started.
Around 7ish, I hear my daughter yelling "MOM! Dinner is ready". So I start down stairs expecting to see the table set and ready and for me to figure out what food I can eat while they eat their dinner. NOPE! They are already done. THEY have excluded me once again. Did not even bother to tell me it was dinner time.
Now as you all know who have had this surgery. EMOTIONS are a big part. Yes, we get bitchy and ride a roller coaster of emotions. I admit, last week was not easy, I had only been on broth and was tired and nutritionally deprived and just flat out tired and dinners were not easy. Now they are not even giving me the chance. They just don't want to deal.
Now here is where things get more narrow and precise about the "problems". Apparently, my grandmother wants nothing to do with me when EVERYONE is at home. During the day there are no issues at all. As soon as my mother comes home there she is telling her that I am horrible to my daughter and yelling and being rude, and all sorts of things....Funny, I don't remember any of these issues. BUT that is besides the point. She is the one who is making my mother not tell me about dinner time. Apparently I NEED to set an alarm and KNOW when to come down stairs. I point out that dinner is not always at the same time and she starts in saying "bull, you know when it is". At this point all I want to do is get my food and get out. I am so angry that they aren't even giving me a chance. Excuse me, SHE wont. So i start getting my food ready while I explain how its rude to just assume I know when to come down, especially if I'm sleeping and that I would like to be told. I admit. Now I am pissed and a bit emotional. Damn, who wouldn't be. To be excluded from a family dinner, not once or twice, but i believe this is three purposeful times in a row now. All of a sudden she is yelling at me calling me a spoiled little brat and saying horrible things and being just awful. So I cant take it anymore and I start walking towards the front door, in tears, more like bawling from an emotional beating, and there she is chasing me out of my own flipping house!!!!
I cant believe it. So I am sitting in my car now, bawling my eyes out and my mom comes out and starts in on me too. About how I have been crazy and they cant deal with it anymore. OK, so for those of you who know how to read a calendar. It has been officially 11 days since I have been home. 11!!! Not forever. And most of the time I have either been in my room or out doing other things. The ONLY time they have seen me has been for dinner and maybe 25/30% of those have been bad!!! More so towards the end of the first week because of no food. OH, and has anyone considered that I am also stir crazy?!? I HATE being at home all the time. If i could have gone back to work right away I would have and things would have been 10 times different. But they aren't. ANYWAY. so my mother goes on to say how my grandmother wanted a quiet house and thought she would have something of the sort when she moved in with us. (Myself, my mother, my 8 year old and occasionally my man, ya, not quiet). And then goes on to say how mean I am towards my kid, that I am never there and have no say in anything. EXCUSE ME?!?!?! She is my child first, second, my schedule is not my choice. If i could work a 9-5 job I would but I am not as fortunate. She was the one who told me to go into this career. I asked her, would she rather I quit and find another job that was 9-5? No she says, they like it like this! WTF! Then she goes on to say I have no right to come in and start parenting when she is there the majority of the time. Again, can't help that HOWEVER, she is my child and my rules over go ANY of theirs. I want her to eat at the table, not in front of TV. But apparently I have no say.... once again, MY CHILD! I go on to tell her that regardless of my child, this is about HER mother and that I don't care how old you are, you have no right at all to talk to someone the way that she did. That I cant live like this with her making shit up and then causing issues once everyone is home.
Now, as a mom, and I'm sure you moms out there will agree, you will side with your kid first. Apparently that isn't how my mom is. Its her mom first and me second. *I should admit I'm getting more aggravated writing this but it needs to be written down* So I end up sitting out in the car with myself, my daughter and my man. I can't go back inside because my grandmother has set up shop in the kitchen AT the table so that if i were to come inside she could go back at it. My mom texts me saying to come in and that she (my grandmother) wont say anything or make a noise......... I try, nope, first thing i get is a smart ass remark, even my mom yells at her this time. I march right back outside. I'M DONE!!! I can't even eat now! and she wont leave. 10 to 1 she sat there with a smirk on her face the whole damn time. Well eventually my man convinces me to make my food and eat somewhere else. So i go in make it and go back to my car. The whole time my gramma is trying to get my daughter to come stay with them instead of me. Nope, my kid is having none of it and is by my side the whole time. Well even after eating my food, probably an hour after she is STILL down there. I swear she wants to start something still. Usually right after dinner she goes to her room. NOT TONIGHT. Tonight she wants to show that she can have last word. Too bad. I go in and go right upstairs, taking my kid with me. (She hasn't left my side, is actually sleeping in my bed tonight, pretty sure she isn't happy with her either at the moment).
I don't care if they say this isn't how it went down or not. It is not their experience. I'm sure from their side I was a raging monster, throwing things and swearing and slamming things. Nothing was slammed, i swore maybe once, and i slid my bottle of G2 across the counter. I will not apologize. I also have lost respect. It is not something i give back easily either.
I sit here at 213 AM still extremely pissed. Things will not be the same here and that sucks because things were fine. I think that any family that says they will support a person going thru this surgery should be REQUIRED to attend a class and therapy, separately from person receiving surgery. This should not decide if the person CAN get surgery or not, but it should be required because apparently they think it will be all easy. Regular life isn't easy, so why would this MAJOR change be? You think it is easy for us??? So why do you hold that against us if we are emotional for 11 days!!!! I'm almost positive there are people who deal with it alot worse then me, let her go live with them for a day and then see how she is. I am also so disappointed that my mother, my own mother would side with her mother instead of her own child. I would NEVER do that to mine. If i had to choose it will ALWAYS be my daughter. Always.
So there is my sleeve horror story of the day. I hope that family members of sleevers or any major surgery will see this and try to understand that this is not even CLOSE to an easy road for us so give us a little, no ALOT of slack. This is a major body/hormonal/emotional change for us.
For more information on how you can support a sleever, here is some information.
http://www.uhn.ca/docs/HealthInfo/Shared%20Documents/How_to_Support_Someone_During_the_Bariatric_Surgery_Process.pdf
http://www.obesityaction.org/educational-resources/resource-articles-2/weight-loss-surgery/relationship-challenges-before-and-after-weight-loss-surgery
http://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com/life-after-weight-loss-surgery.html
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CDUQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.canada.realizeband.com%2Fdocs%2FHow-to-Support-Bariatric-Patients.pdf&ei=-kBYVb3gJYmoNsjIgMgN&usg=AFQjCNGAuHGiGFXlILxHXyjBef1aeCK5Xw&sig2=8sSZZhzdVi7X-LNr5IYEEg&bvm=bv.93564037,d.eXY
That last one is a download of a PDF guide.
Til Next Time.
I tried a blended protein shake...nope...not having that one again. It was from a company called Lean and was a banana creme smoothie. Not so good...
I started a puzzle, and had almost finished the border when my honey came. About this time it was around 1230pm so I decided I needed to make lunch for myself before we started to plan anything. I took a small morning glory chicken slider (fake mean) and cut it up tiny with scrambled egg, a finely diced cherry tomato, salt and pepper and a dash of salsa to add flavor. DELICIOUS! It also went down nicely and stayed down:) Loved it!
We decided to get out of the house and take my daughter to our local aquarium. It was much better this time around. The first time was opening weekend and it was horrible. We have season passes so we can go whenever and this time was so much better. We all had a blast.
Well after that the two of them were hungry. I of course was fighting head hunger but that is ok, I need to learn to deal with that. So we went to IHOP. Yet another place of wondrous smells. That's ok though. They got their food and I got a decaf coffee. OH IT WAS GOOD. And filling so I did not feel like I was being left out with the eating thing.
SUCH a great day so far.
We got home and the man and I went upstairs to take a nap while my daughter went to go watch some TV.
This is where the trouble started.
Around 7ish, I hear my daughter yelling "MOM! Dinner is ready". So I start down stairs expecting to see the table set and ready and for me to figure out what food I can eat while they eat their dinner. NOPE! They are already done. THEY have excluded me once again. Did not even bother to tell me it was dinner time.
Now as you all know who have had this surgery. EMOTIONS are a big part. Yes, we get bitchy and ride a roller coaster of emotions. I admit, last week was not easy, I had only been on broth and was tired and nutritionally deprived and just flat out tired and dinners were not easy. Now they are not even giving me the chance. They just don't want to deal.
Now here is where things get more narrow and precise about the "problems". Apparently, my grandmother wants nothing to do with me when EVERYONE is at home. During the day there are no issues at all. As soon as my mother comes home there she is telling her that I am horrible to my daughter and yelling and being rude, and all sorts of things....Funny, I don't remember any of these issues. BUT that is besides the point. She is the one who is making my mother not tell me about dinner time. Apparently I NEED to set an alarm and KNOW when to come down stairs. I point out that dinner is not always at the same time and she starts in saying "bull, you know when it is". At this point all I want to do is get my food and get out. I am so angry that they aren't even giving me a chance. Excuse me, SHE wont. So i start getting my food ready while I explain how its rude to just assume I know when to come down, especially if I'm sleeping and that I would like to be told. I admit. Now I am pissed and a bit emotional. Damn, who wouldn't be. To be excluded from a family dinner, not once or twice, but i believe this is three purposeful times in a row now. All of a sudden she is yelling at me calling me a spoiled little brat and saying horrible things and being just awful. So I cant take it anymore and I start walking towards the front door, in tears, more like bawling from an emotional beating, and there she is chasing me out of my own flipping house!!!!
I cant believe it. So I am sitting in my car now, bawling my eyes out and my mom comes out and starts in on me too. About how I have been crazy and they cant deal with it anymore. OK, so for those of you who know how to read a calendar. It has been officially 11 days since I have been home. 11!!! Not forever. And most of the time I have either been in my room or out doing other things. The ONLY time they have seen me has been for dinner and maybe 25/30% of those have been bad!!! More so towards the end of the first week because of no food. OH, and has anyone considered that I am also stir crazy?!? I HATE being at home all the time. If i could have gone back to work right away I would have and things would have been 10 times different. But they aren't. ANYWAY. so my mother goes on to say how my grandmother wanted a quiet house and thought she would have something of the sort when she moved in with us. (Myself, my mother, my 8 year old and occasionally my man, ya, not quiet). And then goes on to say how mean I am towards my kid, that I am never there and have no say in anything. EXCUSE ME?!?!?! She is my child first, second, my schedule is not my choice. If i could work a 9-5 job I would but I am not as fortunate. She was the one who told me to go into this career. I asked her, would she rather I quit and find another job that was 9-5? No she says, they like it like this! WTF! Then she goes on to say I have no right to come in and start parenting when she is there the majority of the time. Again, can't help that HOWEVER, she is my child and my rules over go ANY of theirs. I want her to eat at the table, not in front of TV. But apparently I have no say.... once again, MY CHILD! I go on to tell her that regardless of my child, this is about HER mother and that I don't care how old you are, you have no right at all to talk to someone the way that she did. That I cant live like this with her making shit up and then causing issues once everyone is home.
Now, as a mom, and I'm sure you moms out there will agree, you will side with your kid first. Apparently that isn't how my mom is. Its her mom first and me second. *I should admit I'm getting more aggravated writing this but it needs to be written down* So I end up sitting out in the car with myself, my daughter and my man. I can't go back inside because my grandmother has set up shop in the kitchen AT the table so that if i were to come inside she could go back at it. My mom texts me saying to come in and that she (my grandmother) wont say anything or make a noise......... I try, nope, first thing i get is a smart ass remark, even my mom yells at her this time. I march right back outside. I'M DONE!!! I can't even eat now! and she wont leave. 10 to 1 she sat there with a smirk on her face the whole damn time. Well eventually my man convinces me to make my food and eat somewhere else. So i go in make it and go back to my car. The whole time my gramma is trying to get my daughter to come stay with them instead of me. Nope, my kid is having none of it and is by my side the whole time. Well even after eating my food, probably an hour after she is STILL down there. I swear she wants to start something still. Usually right after dinner she goes to her room. NOT TONIGHT. Tonight she wants to show that she can have last word. Too bad. I go in and go right upstairs, taking my kid with me. (She hasn't left my side, is actually sleeping in my bed tonight, pretty sure she isn't happy with her either at the moment).
I don't care if they say this isn't how it went down or not. It is not their experience. I'm sure from their side I was a raging monster, throwing things and swearing and slamming things. Nothing was slammed, i swore maybe once, and i slid my bottle of G2 across the counter. I will not apologize. I also have lost respect. It is not something i give back easily either.
I sit here at 213 AM still extremely pissed. Things will not be the same here and that sucks because things were fine. I think that any family that says they will support a person going thru this surgery should be REQUIRED to attend a class and therapy, separately from person receiving surgery. This should not decide if the person CAN get surgery or not, but it should be required because apparently they think it will be all easy. Regular life isn't easy, so why would this MAJOR change be? You think it is easy for us??? So why do you hold that against us if we are emotional for 11 days!!!! I'm almost positive there are people who deal with it alot worse then me, let her go live with them for a day and then see how she is. I am also so disappointed that my mother, my own mother would side with her mother instead of her own child. I would NEVER do that to mine. If i had to choose it will ALWAYS be my daughter. Always.
So there is my sleeve horror story of the day. I hope that family members of sleevers or any major surgery will see this and try to understand that this is not even CLOSE to an easy road for us so give us a little, no ALOT of slack. This is a major body/hormonal/emotional change for us.
For more information on how you can support a sleever, here is some information.
http://www.uhn.ca/docs/HealthInfo/Shared%20Documents/How_to_Support_Someone_During_the_Bariatric_Surgery_Process.pdf
http://www.obesityaction.org/educational-resources/resource-articles-2/weight-loss-surgery/relationship-challenges-before-and-after-weight-loss-surgery
http://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com/life-after-weight-loss-surgery.html
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CDUQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.canada.realizeband.com%2Fdocs%2FHow-to-Support-Bariatric-Patients.pdf&ei=-kBYVb3gJYmoNsjIgMgN&usg=AFQjCNGAuHGiGFXlILxHXyjBef1aeCK5Xw&sig2=8sSZZhzdVi7X-LNr5IYEEg&bvm=bv.93564037,d.eXY
That last one is a download of a PDF guide.
Til Next Time.
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