What the H*** happened?!

As you can see from the date of this post its been over 5 years since my surgery. So it's about time for a bit of a vent, and some of you may relate to this hurricane in my head.

It was going soooooo Great!!! It was 2018, my weight had gotten down to my goal of 125lbs !!! I had been keeping it off for 3 years and I was so proud of myself. At this point, I had ended my relationship of 2 years a few months before the new years and thank heavens because it was TOXIC! I was single and decided to have fun for once, so I would go out 3 nights a week to our local country club and party it up, and by party I mean beer, and drinks and hanging out.... The weight was still staying off so I didn't have any cares about that. Other than the alcohol I was still eating semi-healthy.

Towards the end of the year I started dating my now husband. I stopped going out and fell in love. He cooked wonderful dinners and I was still on my feet all the time for work so I had no worries about my weight. I had kept it off this long, I should still be able to now right? WRONG! The weight slowly crept back up and before I knew it I was 150! I was SO mad at myself. What the heck happened? I was happy, not drinking as much....

Well, a few things happened, my husband and I left our jobs and were unemployed for a bit so depression started back up again. We maxed out our credit cards to live. I was able to find a job pretty soon after but this job involved sitting all the time. Not on my feet. My husband was having a hard time finding work so we were still using cards every once and a while and as some of you know this causes stress. We didn't fight, and still don't so there was never that tension but we were never relaxed.

Now this is the end of 2019, we got married, got a dog and credit cards were paid off, at least mine were. BUT then our dog needed to be rushed to the ER for a really bad allergic reaction, credit cards.... He then needed eye surgery... credit cards... Now before I go any further, I do not regret any of that, our pets are 100% worth it, so I do not blame that at all. Life happens. My injured my foot tripping over our dog's ball, yes, I know, clumsy and crazy that I almost broke it, so I wasn't able to even walk far on it. My husband’s jeep decided it didn't want to be on earth anymore so guess what...new car...it was like this for a while and the credit cards were maxed out again. Weight kept fluctuating between 140 and 150..... I was not feeling good about myself.

I started back on the protein shakes but no matter what I did, I was ALWAYS hungry again. I stopped watching my portions and kept the weight. I went to my doctor and we tried several things but none would take any weight off or control my hunger. I was still eating healthy foods just more than my stomach use to be able to, I even tried the reset and nothing. I bought a bariatric plate and my husband followed how much of what goes where. We both stopped using large plates to eat and everything is on a salad plate. Still nothing.....

So I saw an ad for Noom. *click Noom and it'll bring the site up* Yes it would cost but I had heard great things about it so decided to try. I started Feb 20th, 2020 and at first lost 9 lbs.! It was working. I was ecstatic and decided this was going to do it!.......Then COVID happened. I, as well as my husband, are essential workers so long hours and obviously no going out even to walk around parks or use the apt's gym. He no longer had time to cook really healthy meals and our schedules were all over the place. He still cooked and they were still healthy but nothing like before. We both started to drink more, I myself went from maybe a beer or mixed drink a night or a glass of wine to anywhere from that to a few drinks and snacking at night. My foot was finally healed but now I can't even use our gym....

So here we are. May 24th, and I go up and down between 143lbs to 145lbs. Never moving much. I haven't been using Noom like I should be and have about a months’ worth or reading to do on it. My brain just said to myself, WHY??? It's not like I'm going to lose anything. We had to spend a bunch more money on our dogs, another ER visit and some other medical issues. Our dogs go to doggy daycare both twice a week. When they go, they are there from opening at 630am to 6pm when I can get them. It does cost but not even close to expensive as the other places, and this way our dogs do not destroy the house since we are always on weird schedules. Other money problems came up and more depression and self-doubt kicked in....I mean, realistically by brain just doesn’t see how I'm ever going to get back down to my healthy weight! I'm not going to starve myself because I would go crazy and binge and that is the worst thing to do. 

So what’s the plan you ask? Ok, well maybe you didn't ask but I'm going to tell you. FIRST, I’m going back and getting back on the horse with the Noom program. I mean I am paying a pretty penny for it, well already paid for it, so im going to use it dang it! I'm going to start bringing shakes as my breakfast and lunches.....and I am gonna try hard to stick with this. I’ve already started bringing smaller portions to work for lunch and trying to stop eating the minute I feel full when eating dinner. Im trying to limit myself to either 1 beer a night or no alcohol at all. I’ve have been drinking more water and use this awesome little gadget called Ulla to remind me to drink water. *Click on the name and it’ll bring you to amazon and you can take a look.* I am trying this other product called Liquid IV which when added to 16 ounces of water gives electrolytes and other stuff (don’t ask me what cause I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast today) and it ends up equaling the equivalent of 3-16 ounce glasses of water. I have noticed that I am not as dehydrated anymore and that paired with my Ulla is helping. And as we all know as bariatric patients we have to have at least 64 ounces of water a day, which can be tough but these definitely help.  And by the way, No, I am not getting paid ANYTHING to talk about any of these products lol, I wish... I'm also going to TRY and I do mean try because this is Texas and its beginning to get HOT, im going to try walking around my apartment complex at least 3 times a week for 30mins to an hour. I have a standing desk so I do get up and stand but not sure how much that is helping. 

SOOOOO now you know how much frustration can come in our lives at bariatric patients. As I said when I first started this blog and as we were told before our surgeries. This is not an easy out. This is a total life style change. We have to relearn everything we know about food and eating. Its hard work, probably harder than anyone thinks, including us even now. It’s a lifelong change and there apparently will be ups and downs, hopefully down in weight for me, and we need to sometimes vents and rethink everything. Money is still tight, COVID is still here with restrictions and that doesn’t seem like it'll be around for a while so getting used to it, and eating is still a challenge. It comes down to once again, our mental battles with our inner fat kids, support that we have to have, and food... I guess maybe I got complacent, maybe life happened, But we all need to remember why we did this surgery, to become healthier and live longer and better lives. 

Thanks for taking the time to listen to, well read, my vent. Even if you just looked over some of it. Hopefully I can stick to my plan and get back to a weight that makes me feel more confident about myself, and healthier for myself and my family.

Here are pics from before surgery in chronological order until now. From my happy weight til now may not seem like a lot through pics but it’s does frustrate me. 

 

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!

One thing that I am sure we have all noticed since we had surgery and started towards ONEderland was that along with losing weight, we are also losing ALOT of hair. For someone like me who normally has thick hair, it is not noticeable unless you look at my hairbrush and in my trash can. But for those who have already thin hair, this can be devastating and very noticeable. So why after surgery and during weight loss DO we lose so much hair?

We lose this hair due to such a drastic change in our eating habits after surgery. We reduce our caloric intake big time by having our stomach size reduced. Another reason we tend to lose hair is stress. What we just went through from the surgery to complete diet change is extremely stressful. It would be shocking if we did not lose any hair just from that. 

The great part is that it will not last forever. The rapid hair loss will eventually subside. However, there are some things that can be done to aid in the process of reducing the amount of hair that is lost.

FIRST. DON'T STRESS! I read some where that Obesity kills, a bit of hair loss does not! It will not last forever. Make sure that you are taking your bariatric vitamins. This will help in making sure that your body gets what it is needing and will more than likely make the hair loss not as bad as it could be. Make sure you are getting your recommended amount of protein. Protein also helps in hair growth along with weight loss. Make sure you are also getting those great Omega-3 fatty acids. These are great for hair growth as well as the body in general. Massage your scalp when you wash your hair. This increases blood flow to the scalp and helps with hair growth. Make sure you are also taking good care of the hair you have now. Do not use clarifying or a shampoo that will strip or is harsh on the hair. Make sure its moisturizing and if you feel you need to, use thickening shampoo. 

Remember, this hair loss WILL NOT last forever. And in a way you can think of it this way, if your losing hair, you are losing weight:)

Til Next Time!

Getting over all the worries....

As bariatric patients, we already have issues with food that we need to overcome. We started out with an unhealthy relationship with food and how we think about it. One part of the surgery is learning how to eat and rethink about food. Along with that comes all the worries about your weight loss and other issues.

"Am I eating too much?"
"Am I eating enough protein or drinking enough water?"
"Am I not losing enough, or too slowly?"
"Should this much hair be falling out?"

There are so many questions we ask ourselves that it causes undo stress. Stress as we know is a trigger for eating. One thing we don't want to do is stress eat.

Being part of a weight lss forum or bariatric surgery weight loss group helps to ease these concerns. Be it online or one that your doctor's office has, just knowing that you are not alone with your concerns and getting answers from people who have been there can ease alot of that stress.

Questions are usually answered pretty fast from others and you may even find that you have a surgery sister or brother (someone who had surgery the same day as you.) This helps so that you can compare what you are going through.

We have enough to stress about in life. Let's help make this weight loss go as smoothly as possible.

Til Next Time!

Things we look forward to...

As obese people, we often can't enjoy the same things that normal sized people can. We get depressed and feel worthless. This surgery is new hope for us. There are things we know we will one day be able to obtain, to look forward to.

When I got out of surgery in May, I started two posts on two different obesity surgery forums asking people what they were looking forward to once they lost their weight. I was so blown away by the amount of responses and the hope it gave people to see other's lists and goals. Here are some of the things people look forward to. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did.

• ONEderland (Weight under 200 lbs)
• Canoe Zip lining
• Comfortably sitting in an airplane seat (This is a big one on alot of people's lists)
• Anything to do with NOT being sweaty from being overweight
• Walking and not having to stop to rest frequently
• Wear and feel comfortable in a swimsuit
• Have enough energy
• BE HEALTHY!!
• Buying new clothes that are not in PLUS sizes
• Walking, standing, sitting, lying down WITHOUT PAIN!
• Being able to sit with legs crossed
• Sitting in a plastic chair without having to worry it will break
• Horseback riding
• Having a baby (or another one)
• Running a half/full marathon
• Feeling better about myself
• Getting off my medications!
• Not being that "fat person" and getting out of that stigma
• Buying clothes because I like the look not because I fit in them.
• Victoria Secrets Shopping!
• Tucking in my shirt
• Riding bikes with family
• Keeping up with friends and family
• Feeling Sexy
• Being able to sleep WITHOUT a CPAP machine
• Jumping on a trampoline
• AMUSEMENT PARK RIDES!
• Enjoying sex
• Wrapping a towel around me with no gaps
• Wear high heels
• Tomorrow, the next day, the next day, and the next day.....
• Being OK with my picture being taken
• Getting up off the floor without help
• Taking a bath
• Having their child be able to put their arms around them
• Paint my own toenails
• Actually FEELING beautiful when I am told that I am
• Being able to dance
• Feeling comfortable at the gym
• Sit on someones lap
• NOT letting weight CONSUME MY LIFE!!!!

All of these things may seem trivial to normal weight people but to those in the weight loss surgery game these are priceless bucket list items.  I smiled at EVERY SINGLE POST I read while writing this blog. You are all wonderful people and you WILL get to do every single thing you listed because together we have strength to accomplish the weight loss we deserve. Hopefully this blog post has made you smile also.

Til Next Time!

New relationship with food....

As of today, it has been 9 weeks since my surgery and I have lost about 32.2 lbs.

I had my last doctor visit last Thursday and was told I need to have a new relationship with food.

(Photo borrowed from Valero Doval)

I am trying. But here is the crazy part. My big worry was that I seem to be still hungry between meals. I was told at first my by nutritionist to NOT eat between the three daily meals. It's soooo hard not to when your hungry yet I don't want to go against what I have been told. So I asked my doctor about it. He said, "If you are hungry, eat. I eat a ton of food. You just have to make sure you are eating the right things. You need to change your relationship with food."  In other words, make sure that IF you are going to eat or drink between meals that it is protein first, then veggies, then fibers. This will not only help get the daily protein in, but apparently food is NOT our enemy. We really all do think of food in the wrong way. We need to not be scared to eat. Just make sure we are eating the right things.

I also asked him about anti-GERD meds like omeprazole and helping the hunger feeling. He said that will also help since some times when we think we are hungry that it is really the acid in our stomachs. He said to take omeprazole twice a day and this should also help with the hunger. I have only been taking it for a few days this way and do notice a bit of a difference.

So there ya have it folks. We need to re-think our ideas on eating and food. Food is not bad, it's WHAT we eat that makes or breaks our weight. Hope this has been insightful.

If you have any topics you would like to see covered in this blog, drop me a line in the comments and I will see what I can do.

Til Next Time!

Roadtripping it

So first leg of my road trip journey was from San Antonio, Texas to Mankato, MN.  24 hours almost!

So what have I learned as a bariatric patient going on a car road trip...

First and foremost, and one of the things I wish I had followed better:

 HYDRATION!!!!!

I definitely did NOT drink enough water. I have a feeling this would have made the trip a bit easier. Would it have made it a bit longer with all the pee breaks? Probably, but I wold have probably felt better and possibly more awake than I did. Here is a little pic of how water helps you function, and yes it helps with the brain very much!!

Stop and actually eat three healthy meals. DO NOT GRAZE.

I luckily did not graze however, my meals were on the go and consisted mainly of protein bars and P3 packs. DO NOT DO THIS! This probably also contributed to my general feeling of crap and sleepiness. Make sure that your meals consist mainly of protein and veggies! One great meal is a protein shake AND it hydrates you. DRINK FLUIDS! Have I mentioned that yet? LOL

Take frequent breaks to get out of the car and stretch. 

We went into a small walmart along the way just to get out and walk around and wake up for a bit. A long trip is havoc on the body and the mind. Remember, our bodies need to get up and exercise and burn off that food we are eating. Sitting in a car is not a good thing for those three meals we must eat.
One great thing about road trips is there are always things to stop and see along the way. A great site to find these destinations is called RoadTrippers. You put in your route and it will show you all the places around where you will be driving. Including the odd and weird stuff.

IF you get tired take a break and nap. 

I was lucky enough at the beginning to be good for the first 12-16 hours ( I have no idea how) but if you feel sleepy get out of the car and move or take a little nap. Your passengers AND the other cars around you will thank you for their safety.

CARRY CASH FOR TOLL ROADS!!

While we had a toll pass for Texas, we had NO IDEA there was a toll road from Oklahoma to Missouri. We learned this the hard way, had to turn around and get cash, then drive back to it. One thing to do is to research ahead of time to see IF your trip will have some then bring the appropriate amount. Luckily, we have cash for the way back LOL.

A tip from another trippers site. FOLLOW THE BILLBOARDS! 

Some of the best little hidden places are found this way. We found a great Amish store this way on the Iowa/Missouri border. We got a bunch of great jarred fruits and things from this store and at a great price. Who knows what cool places and adventures these signs may lead you to.

Check in at all the Cool and Weird places that you drive by!

Facebook will constantly update these as you drive. Just make sure the driver isn't on the phone doing this. NOT SAFE PEOPLE!!

Before you even leave your house for the road trip.....Make a list and check it twice!

I wish we had done this. We forgot my daughter's shoes for the wedding, now we have to go and spend more money to go get her another pair. Lists are a great thing. Make them LOL

And lastly, TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES!

Til Next Time!!

Summer Time!

With summer coming or here in some places, we will all be wanting to cool off with some great summer time treats. However, being in the weight loss surgery category people, we have to limit what we eat due to sugars. Here are some great sweets and other treat ideas for the summer that are great for our new bodies.


Enlightened Ice Creams: Enlightened 

These yummy treats come in 7 flavors of bars (Chocolate Peanut Butter Swirl, Coffee, Fudge, Peanut Butter, Sea Salt Caramel, Mint Fudge Swirl, Orange Cream, a Toasted Almond) and 2 ice cream sandwhiches (Mint and Vanilla Bean). They range from 2-5 grams of sugar each, and the best part, 7-8 grams of PROTEIN!!!!! They are so tastey that its a good thing our stomachs are small and can only hold one.

Make your own treats:

• Roll a banana in chopped peanuts and freeze it. Mix the peanuts with cinnamon before rolling, if you want.
• Freeze melon or watermelon balls or grapes.
• Make raspberry lemonade pops by blending raspberries – or your choice of berries – and light lemonade. Pour into paper cups, stick popsicle sticks in the centers, and freeze them.
• Blend mango, peach, or another soft fruit with Greek yogurt, keeping it chunky. Freeze.
• Dip strawberries, peach slices, or cherries into light Greek vanilla yogurt. Put the fruit on wax paper on a cookie sheet, and freeze your treats.
• Mix up your favorite glass of sugar free crystal light and freeze it into ice cube trays. Not only are these great to suck on to keep cool but can be put into a glass of the same flavor crystal light flavored water and wont water it down as it melts or grind the cubes in the blender until they are more like chips.
• Freeze grapes, these are one of my favorite treats. Other great frozen fruits are blueberries. 

Refresh Salad: 

Mix Arugula leaves, sliced radishes, snow peas, sliced watermelon cubes and sliced avocado cubes into a bow. Sprinkle feta cheese and ground black pepper to taste. Enjoy!

Low Fat Jalepeno Poppers: Use fresh Jalepenos, cut them in half and take out the seeds. Stuff them with fat free cream cheese and wrap up with one half piece of turkey bacon. Bake about 20 minutes at around 350 degrees in oven (temp may vary due to oven so keep a close eye on them when cooking the first time).

Cookie Dough Greek Yogurt:

Take a cup of any plain greek yogurt, mix 1 tablespoon of nut butter, 1 tablespoon of mini chocolate chips and 1/4 teaspoon of vanilla into it and voila! Cookie Dough Greek Yogurt!

Fruit Salad with Poppy Seed Dressing:

Ingredients: 1 cup of peeled and diced kiwi, 1 cup sliced strawberries, 1 cup mixed berries, 1 cup peeled and diced mangos, 1 orange in wedges, 1 cup of greek yogurt, 4 tablespoons of honey, 2 tablespoons of poppy seeds, 2 tablespoons of fresh lime juice, 1 tablespoon of almond oil or a neutral tasting oil, and fresh mint.

Combine all the fruits into a bowl and chill in the refridgerator while preparing the dressing, 

To make the poppy seed dressing, in a small bowl, mix the yogurt, honey, poppy seeds, lime juice and oil. Adjust the sweetness if you desire.

Mix in the poppy seed dressing with the fruits and garnish with the mint leaves before serving.

Cumcumber, Dill and Cream Cheese Sandwhiches on Wheat Toast

Ingrediants: 6 ounces of low fat cream cheese, 1 tablespoon of fresh and minced dill, 6 slices of whole wheat bread, 1 small or 1/2 big cucumber thinly sliced, and some lemon zest.

In a small bowl mix the cream cheese, dill and some lemon zest. Toast all the slices of bread. Spread the cream cheese mix on each slice of toast and then top with a cucumber slice then cut away the sides of the bread (crust). 

JUST REMEMBER: 

• Low-fat and fat-free products can be high in sugar and calories.
• “Light” can mean light in color, light in calories, or light in something else.
• Low-carb and low-sugar products can be high-calorie and high-fat.
• Fat-free toppings, such as caramel or chocolate topping, can be high in sugar and contain 50 calories per tablespoon (that’s not a big serving size!).

Til Next Time!